Dear friends,
I have never had to write a letter to any of my friends before but in light of recent events I have decided to write this. I have found out that the best way to say something is to say it.
I am a creature that believes in Non- verbal communication and so i place emphasis on this part of communication above all others. I have been blind to think everyone is wired like me. I know better now.
I spend most of my time observing and i never really comment on my observations. I have learnt that in communication the real communication is not in what is been said, but how it is said, the spark in your eyes, the blink of the eye that follows the lies or the biting of your lips to show delight or even the sound of your belly when the food arrives after telling me several times you are not hungry.This to me is true and unbiased communication, to master and control this non- verbal communication unconsciously will be to have full mastery of oneself.
I know my dear friends things aren’t as they should, i can see your struggles, your fear. In you, i can see myself.
I have chosen not to discuss your problems which you body is discussing freely with me, because your mouth hasn’t shared them with me and i have decided to trust you to handle it. Stay positive and stay strong.
Another way to look @ your To-do list 1
Two days ago i got some bad news, i was told a close friend of mine passed away. On hearing the news i was stunned, i took a short trip back to the times we spent together, how i met her, how she would come alive when we spoke about her children, how she used to encourage me and advice me. how we discussed business ideas to push her venture forward, I felt let down, i thought to myself the world needed more people like her and not one less.
Amidst the time we spent together she always complained about how i was never on time for anything. I never really listened to her until one fateful day, she was supposed to join me to school, we were in business school together, i fixed the time and place to meet and as usual i was running late, Then its started raining , i rushed out of my house wearing to mismatched socks thanks to p.h.c.n( power holding company Nigeria) and their constant lack of power supply i could not tell the different between black and navy blue, drove as fast as i could to the rendezvous point, reciting my apology over and over again, while listen to Olisa and Rheck on Beatfm complaining on how short the night was and how they wished they were still in bed while it rained.
On arrival i could see her in a stunning grey work suit, it would have looked even better if she was not damp from the rain, it was a good thing she found a shed, i thought to myself.
I drove as close as i possibly could to the shed so as to prevent her from getting wet any further , it was then i noticed that even though she was under the shed, the angle at which the rain fell and the wind blowing ensured that she had more than enough supply of water.
The initial relief was gone and then i forgot my practiced apology, as soon as she stepped into the car, i just uttered the words that came to mind in a bid to apologize, well i cant remember everything she said or didn’t say, but i remember she didn’t express any form of anger, she only emphasized on how i need to work on my time management issues and before we even got off the road, we were already laughing to a joke she shared.
I was going to write about a proven new way to handle your to-do list but i found myself writing about my friend Temi.
I would do a sequel writing about handling my To-do list .
Rest in peace Temi, I know you are in a better place, Smiling down at us all. 
Prisoners of Hope
Reflecting on the month of January, still in shock over how fast it went by, leaving me chasing after each passing day, wishing i could add an extra 5 hours to each day.
I am already running late on my check list for the first quarter of the year. one thing is certain though, i might not have the power to add extra hours to my days, but i have the power to adjust my schedule, strategies and make changes when needed to ensure i still meet my set goals.
Recently i was dwelling on the word of God reading about the children of Israel during their time of slavery in Egypt. and the sentence “Prisoners of hope” came to mind. It amazed me how they were so slow to accept the truth,then it occurred to me, we all go through life hoping for “that sign” , “that action”, “that moment”. I am sorry to be the one to break this to you chances are “that moment”, yeah the one you have been waiting for, stared you in the face , rubbed your cheeks, even gave you a slap, but you probably didn’t see it for what it was.
I picture Moses taking a stroll that beautiful morning, with a spice of accomplishment in his walk after killing the Egyptian who was beating an Israelite , even though he thought his action was unknown to everyone, he would never have envisaged the treatment he got from his fellow men when they found out.
The ones he had risked his life to help, instead of celebrating him, judged him. He was treated like an outcast. They had become so comfortable in the state of hoping for a Saviour, that when the Saviour “moses” arrived they rejected him, i wonder what they had in mind maybe they thought their Saviour will descend from heaven with a golden chariots and rocket launchers blowing up Pharaoh and his council men, enslaving the Egyptians and empowering them. well they thought wrong.
Little wonder the ones that made it to the promise land were those that they gave birth to in the wilderness .
As human we tend to build our comfort around situations that are certain, we fear for uncertainty. Times without number we lose out on the best of what life has to offer, living our lives in fear, missing out on those not so obvious opportunities that life present at us and missing out on the Moment we have been hoping for.
As Franklin D. Roosevelt said “Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds. Its a New month the Moment is now dont let it pass you by.
Welcome to February.
Revolution and the solution to world peace.
Recent Revolutions in Africa really got me thinking. I have been busy so i have not really had time to follow this incidence as they played out, i haven’t seen a T.V set this year, So i must say a big thank you to my peeps on twitter and face-book they have taken it upon themselves to report this news and share useful links that has been very informative.
I am one who believes in Revolution and the need for the people to rise against leaders that have wronged them. I believe in every nation the leaders are answerable to the people and its in their best interest to ensure that installed governing policy are people and economically friendly, Its grieves my heart that this is not always the case.
Even when a revolution occur, we have a Revolutionist (Teapot) removing the corrupt leader (Pot) from power, he looks less black compared to the Pot because unlike the Pot he has little or no exposure to the Fire (Power), give him some time in office he will be as black as the Pot he dethroned.
Remember Maximilien Robespierre of the french revolution? In more recent time we had the Tulip Revolution of the people of Kyrgyzstan, or closer to home does the name Idi Amin Ring a bell ?
I only support revolution because it gives us the opportunity to hope and dream again, we hope that the Tea pot ( The Revolutionist) doesn’t get as black as the Pot (the dethroned) in the long run.
It occurred to me though how we can ensure world peace, but just like you know, it is not possible. But its a theory i am willing to share all the same.
If we can remove all veil of consciousness of self when making decisions and just be an individual say X,
where X could be anyone. e.g The president , his subordinates , a fisherman in the Niger delta region or a Christan who runs his business in jos.
We would all come to a reasonable conclusion on how the world should be ran, making decisions that would be fair to everyone involved for we wont be certain what strata of the society we belong to.
In the absence of such a solution, we all have to play our roles, register , vote and educate others on the need to speak up and be active in putting the right leaders in power.
Running late.
Pulse beating i rode the tram, listening from time to time at the announcement over the speakers as we came to different stations, it had snowed heavily and they warned commuters that the tram might be very unreliable and might not get to their destination, but it was my only choice, it was faster and cheaper.
Several thoughts flashing through my mind, i was going to miss my flight , traffic on the way to the airport as a result of a Major accident or as a result of the Football match they just played.
Another announcement over the speakers, brought me back to earth, then laughter from friends around, i didn’t catch the joke, just looked on, while they laughed.
several minutes later, i was on the way to the airport.
i tried to look as calm as possible, but anytime there was a delay, i said a silent prayer. if we missed our flight we might be stuck in u.k for another week because of the bad weather rescheduling was going to be difficult.
Then it happened
Checking-in my luggage they complained about the weight of my Hand-luggage. i opened my bag and for the first time it occurred to me my hand luggage any-time i travel was a mini library.
I tend to carry books i have not read with me every time i have to be away from the house for over a week, it became a habit, even worse was my compelling need to buy books , actually this habits feed on each other.
Old unread books + New books = larger library = heavier hand-luggage.
i had to reshuffle my luggage so that i didn’t need to pay for extra-luggage, i also promised to make a conscious effort to finish all the books i have purchased.
well i manged to finish a book i started last year,dont get me wrong i finished a couple of books while reading this one but none of the other books come close to this one. i dont know how long it took me to read it, but i can guaranty you that this particular books has been on several journey with me. it has stains of palm-oil from my vegetable soup , Mc-cafe hot chocolate stains and even more recent chilli-sauce from my meal of Chicken Hakka noodles.
I recommend this book to any one that loves reading , its Tipping point “how little things make a difference” by Malcolm Gladwell. The books explains mysterious sociological changes and shows the common trait between ideas, messages and Viruses. it also shows what roles we have to play in the entire process of bringing about change.
Are you really making progress?
Its a New year and we are all full with expectations of what we want to achieve, New resolution that we already threw out the window and we are just in the second week.
Before we get carried away with so much plans and work, can i suggest we all just Pause!!!!!
Yeah you heard me Just PAUSE!!!!!
I’m often amazed at how many times something has to happen to me before I figure it out. I believe that most of us get smarter as we get older. But somehow, despite that, we often make the same mistakes. On the flip side — but no less comforting — we often do many things right and then fail to repeat them.
There’s a simple reason for it: we rarely take the time to Pause, Breathe, and think about what’s working and what’s not.
There’s just too much to do and no time to reflect.
Everyday before leaving the office or going to bed at night, I suggest we take out time to reflect on our day.
Then ask yourself three sets of questions:
How did the day go?
- What success did I experience?
- What challenges did I endure?
What did I learn today?
- About myself?
- About others?
- What do I plan to do.
- differently or the same — tomorrow?
Who did I interact with?
- Anyone I need to update?
- Thank?
- Ask a question?
- Share feedback?
This last set of questions is invaluable in terms of maintaining and growing relationships. It takes just a few short minutes to shoot off an email — or three — to share your appreciation for a kindness someone extended, to ask someone a question, or to keep someone in the loop on a project.
If we don’t pause to think about it, we are apt to overlook these kinds of communications. And we often do. But in a world where we depend on others to achieve anything in life, they are essential.
Have a lovely day.
Happy New Year
I have tried to blog several times, but i have failed again and again. I have decided to try again this year and God willing, i will succeed this time, so i invite you to my not so interesting life life , to see the world as i see it. But even beyond my life i hope that i will be able to touch someone , inspire another and contribute meaningfully to everyone that reads my blog, only then would my post have meant anything at all. Happy New Year.
